Item #: SCP-413-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-413’s infectious nature, it is unknown how to contain it. The erasure of the website hosting it would cause mass hysteria among SCP-413-2. Such a reaction would be unignorable by the media. The assassination of SCP-413-1 would create a similar effect. Retardation of the epidemic does not seem necessary at this time, though this is subject to change.
Any personnel found to be infected by SCP-413 are to be given Class-A amnesiacs and kept away from all computer-based assignments for a minimum of 3 (three) weeks.
Object Description: SCP-413 is a multimedia webcomic hosted on █████████████████.com. Though the update schedule varies it may range from several pages a night to a few pages weeks apart. Reading SCP-413 has an infectious affect in most humans. Individuals seem to be most prone to infection in their teenage years (though infection has been found in pre-teens). Other factors thought to influence infection include the presence of social anxiety or awkwardness; fondness for anime, webcomics, or text-based video games; and attendance of conventions.
Affects of the infection include obsession, insomnia, typing or speech abnormalities (referred to as “quirks”), an affinity for grey paint and candy corn, dislike of Betty Crocker, and the creation of fan characters. (Some researchers suggest a fear of clowns and honking noises may be another side-effect but such claims are currently unfounded.)
The individual responsible for writing and updating SCP-413 is referred to as SCP-413-1. Evidence shows that he is a human male in his mid to late twenties. He is usually shown with brown hair and bright orange skin with two white eyes and a nose. He seems to be lacking a mouth or comparable orifice but is capable of speech. His full name is reported to be A█████ H█████ but he is usually referred to solely by his surname. SCP-413-1 is untraceable and it is unknown how he causes SCP-413’s infectious nature, if he is responsible for it at all. It is worth noting that SCP-413-1 has a great liking for horses, The O████ G█████, and overweight females.
Individuals infected by SCP-413 are deemed SCP-413-2. It is unknown how many instances of SCP-413-2 exist. SCP-413-2 make their presence known all over the internet, especially on social media and blogging websites. They are rampant at conventions, where they proudly display their infected status. SCP-413-2 individuals refer to themselves as “H████████s”.
Any utterance of the sentence “Let me tell you about H████████,” should not be taken lightly. This phrase is often said shortly before the infection is spread from SCP-413-2 to an unsuspecting victim.